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I enjoy the relating. I enjoy all the personalities, differences,  distinctiveness, and excitements. No bonds, free from unhealthy attachments. Then  anxiousness begins to creep in when I begin to realize I overextended myself.  Suddenly unwanted questions are asked and I am forced to explain my  unconventional views on relationships.

People have this misconception that I am bitter about love, that I have some  deep-seated issue about relationships, that I just haven’t found the “right  one,” or that I am somehow anti-love/anti-relationships.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I am full of love; both to give and  receive. My previous relationships have not made me bitter about love. They were  experiences neither good nor bad, but nevertheless experiences rich in lessons. I grew from them and am now ready for the next phase of my life.

If I decide to go out with more than one person, it doesn’t mean I am not fully  engaged with whomever I see. I’ve seen the pitfalls of trying to have monogamous  relationships (boredom, jealousies, and insecurities). You can relate to another  person without being in a conventional “Relationship”. I don’t disagree with relationships, just the ones that are based on ownership and conditions.

My philosophy of life includes living as much as possible in the now and not  putting limitations or restrictions on my life. There is always a possibility I may get in a conventional relationship but it won’t depend on the girl I meet but on what I  want at that point in my life. At this moment I shall continue to embrace the love connection I have established with another and together we will explore all that it means to love.

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11 thoughts on “Love in Retrospect

  1. I really like this, again, because it feels real. No need for too many words, just enough to express your point without overextending yourself. Kudos!

  2. hmm. i think this perspective is a way of dealing with or even atoning for what may have been extreme jealousy and possessiveness on your part in your past. Not bitterness, but a philosophical decision to be the exact opposite of what you were, after seeing the ugliness and havoc jealousy can cause. i personally don’t mind a little jealousy when expressed in a dignified and cautious way. Certain cultures have established civilized ways of dealing with and expressing normal human emotions like jealousy, but then again, i am being freud_ish right now.

    • Interesting perspective! I don’t think you are correct in your Freudian thought, haha, but who knows, there may be something there subconsciously? I am not who I am today because I don’t want to be who I was yesterday. I just know that has I grow, as I experience, as I live, I begin to understand what I like, what makes me happy, what does and doesn’t work for me. What I am today is because I have learned what it is that gives me joy and happiness not because I am trying to be the opposite of what I use to be. It was a slow evolution for me, it took alot of years to work on and so far I feel more fufilled and happy not only in life but specifically in the love department. What cultures have civilized ways of expressing jealousy? Also, I would argue that jealousy is not normal as you say. It is indeed normal in the sense of its prevalence within our society. But it is not something we are born with. It is something we are taught, something we pick up as we grow older. Our value system is what has to change. Thank you for your comment by the way. It was good to self reflect on what you said.

    • Interesting perspective! I don’t think you are correct in your Freudian thought, haha, but who knows, there may be something there subconsciously? I am not who I am today because I don’t want to be who I was yesterday. I just know that has I grow, as I experience, as I live, I begin to understand what I like, what makes me happy, what does and doesn’t work for me. What I am today is because I have learned what it is that gives me joy and happiness not because I am trying to be the opposite of what I use to be. It was a slow evolution for me, it took alot of years to work on and so far I feel more fufilled and happy not only in life but specifically in the love department. What cultures have civilized ways of expressing jealousy? Also, I would argue that jealousy is not normal as you say. It is indeed normal in the sense of its prevalence within our society. But it is not something we are born with. It is something we are taught, something we pick up as we grow older. Our value system is what has to change. Thank you for your comment by the way. It was good to self reflect on what you said.

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