Home

If you weren’t so turned on by God we could relate. But you’re obsessed with him, you want him to inject his Holy Spirit into you. I can’t fathom it, we spent so much time together, we connected, and you made it known you had feelings for me, but apparently, he moistens your thighs better than I.

You know, I liked you too; the passion to help others was seething out of both of us. We needed to change the world, or at least to try to. You thought that path was religion, so blinded by it you failed to realize you were a part of the problem.

You focused your everything on religion and “His” love. Through the church, you donated and helped those who didn’t have a head start in life. That very church also stole from the same people it helped and instilled negative feelings in their minds, yet you’re still sightless.

Nonetheless, we continued to flirt and enjoy each other’s company. We agreed on many subjects but there was always that air of discomfort due to our religious viewpoints. Being non-religious, I was the very contrast of what you believed in. You hated having any metaphysical discussions with me. I frustrated you; you let your mind become offended solely for questioning what has been brainwashed in you since birth.

You knew something great could happen involving us but you refused to let it go that far. Religion held down your true desires and wants from me, suppressing them cruelly.

Together, we were great. I took you to places you’ve never been. We visited Ethiopia, Jamaica, and Europe without ever leaving San Diego. You loved the abnormal and unique places I took you to. We experienced so much in our short time.

We graced dive bars with our presence. Alcohol drowned your shyness away and it seemed to heighten your libido. Our hands became magnets, your neck invited my lips over, and eventually your lips also summoned me.

Luckily, only four people were in the bar that night and I didn’t care who saw. I needed to steer my hands down your pants. In that dark corner, my fingers were honored. You tried to stop me but the pleasure overcame your rationality. While my fingers manipulated your gateway, my whispers trickled down the insides your ears. My pants swelled and my heart became excited.

Our hormones were in tune, our bodies wanted each other, and our minds accepted it. We continued the physicality at my house. Words didn’t exist at that point. Our communication was expressed on the fabrics of my sheets. Your fingernails burrowed into my skin, your legs opened, inciting me to latch in.

Even at that point you fought it. On one shoulder, you had religion, in all its wonder and horror, telling you: “pleasure is bad, don’t enjoy it, wait until marriage, repent, feel guilty, you are cheating on God.”

On the other, you had your natural inclination, in all its innate and raw physicality telling you: “feed your desires, enjoy yourself, relieve stress, and experience the human condition.”

The entrenched seed placed in your brain by your priest, family, church, and society sprouted. They won. They beat us.

The only one allowed in between your legs was God. Breast and ass could only be stroked by “Him.” Your lips were only truly intimate with him; telling all your secrets and confessions, leaving me with none.

All the while you created a fortification around yourself. An emotional force field blocked all out. Impenetrable auras of defense put up in order to not get hurt and… it worked baby. But because of that, you never got to experience what could have been love.

I only wish you let me put my messiah in you. It would have been a better communion than the one you got at church. Outside the physicality, I wish I could have also expressed the testaments from my heart and soul.

But that’s life, too bad you didn’t have faith in us. Maybe the “us” will resurrect someday, until then, I will just wish, wish… just like you do for something that doesn’t exist.

 ***Thank you for taking the time to read my work. If you enjoy what you read; please share, like, and comment. All of these details help me drastically and will allow me to write more often. Thank you for your support!***

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “God, you’re a cock block

  1. forgive me, my editor-self can’t help it: it’s just that the second to the last sentences of paragraphs 6 and 8 have a typo and a missing word. 🙂 otherwise, great expression. keep it going!

    • I changed it! I noticed it! I was doing it from my nook and I am terrible with touch screen. But they are all fixed! I usually have my editor (My Mom) check my stuff haha.

  2. God versus sex — age old struggle. I personally don’t believe that God gave us such a beautiful gift of sexuality to have us deny it and make ourselves crazy wanting it but feeling guilty for it. Interesting piece, Gino.

  3. Wow. *goes and grabs tissues from nightstand and puts crucifix away in a drawer*. Good stuff, Montessi. Btw, are you sure this wasn’t a letter that was supposed to be addressed to Katie Holmes? lol 😉

Pour out your thoughts.....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s