I strive to live solely for the overflowing pleasure your presence brings. So long as I can see your face everyday till the day I plant the soil with my bones, I’ll be content. If you meet the soil before me, I have no reason to exist. I am on life support and you are the life. You are the air to my lungs; inhale and exhale that love with me. Your voice is a melody to my ears. The beats of your heart are the beats of mine. When you kiss the earth, flowers grow. Kiss me, be the current to my blood flow.
I’m an unhealthy individual, my happiness depends on you. How you chose me from an ocean of better men bewilders me. But I guess that’s why all the love my meager heart can carry is only for you.
You make me want to care about life.
I’ve taken a chainsaw to my previous relationships. I’ve stabbed hearts with needles and sucked out all the blood. I’ve kissed souls and spit it out. I’ve had apathetic tears and turned my back on real ones.
I waited for their emotional walls to open so I could throw grenades of hate inside. I impregnated women with hope and birthed lies. I never really cared about them; they were temporary moments of joy. I used them to mask my pain.
Then I met you, the first day of truth. The day my heart thawed. You turned my frowns to smiles. Your love was a symbiotic organism slowly eating away the hate I had. Shrapnel of you is forever embedded inside me. You wiped the fog from my eyes; you are the color to my blind.
There is only one certainty in life, and it’s that I’m not fucking up again. You aren’t the girls I had in the past. I’m not going to leave any scars on you. I couldn’t destroy your emotional walls since you don’t have any. You have an altruistic heart, one that you expose for all to enjoy. You never give it away but always share it. It shows your character, the peace and selflessness that reside in the canvass of your heart.
You have life figured out more than anyone I know. So why would you love someone like me?
I’m the elderly man cast off by his kids into an old people’s home with no visitors. I’m the little kid on the swing by himself, friendless. I am the bird released from his cage but can’t experience freedom because his wings have been clipped. I am the headstone at the graveyard engraved with nothing; blank, lonely, and never to belong to anyone’s memory. What the earth is without the sun is me without you.
Look at the darkness of the night, I’m absent within it, because you filled the void with light. Time spent with you is like the clearing of a tempest storm, eclipsing the darkness with beams of sunshine piercing through the clouds. It is like lava at the end of a volcanic eruption, engulfing the old and creating the new. Time spent with you cannot be measured like the past or the future, because it is in the now.
Thank you for the now.
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