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I want to live long, but not for myself — for you. My life is a nothing, a blank slate, barren land. I am the withered petal being blown by the wind away from home.

I strive to live solely for the overflowing pleasure your presence brings. So long as I can see your face everyday till the day I plant the soil with my bones, I’ll be content. If you meet the soil before me, I have no reason to exist. I am on life support and you are the life. You are the air to my lungs; inhale and exhale that love with me. Your voice is a melody to my ears. The beats of your heart are the beats of mine. When you kiss the earth, flowers grow. Kiss me, be the current to my blood flow.

I’m an unhealthy individual, my happiness depends on you. How you chose me from an ocean of better men bewilders me. But I guess that’s why all the love my meager heart can carry is only for you.

You make me want to care about life.

I’ve taken a chainsaw to my previous relationships. I’ve stabbed hearts with needles and sucked out all the blood. I’ve kissed souls and spit it out. I’ve had apathetic tears and turned my back on real ones.

I waited for their emotional walls to open so I could throw grenades of hate inside. I impregnated women with hope and birthed lies. I never really cared about them; they were temporary moments of joy. I used them to mask my pain.

Then I met you, the first day of truth. The day my heart thawed. You turned my frowns to smiles. Your love was a symbiotic organism slowly eating away the hate I had. Shrapnel of you is forever embedded inside me. You wiped the fog from my eyes; you are the color to my blind.

There is only one certainty in life, and it’s that I’m not fucking up again. You aren’t the girls I had in the past. I’m not going to leave any scars on you. I couldn’t destroy your emotional walls since you don’t have any. You have an altruistic heart, one that you expose for all to enjoy. You never give it away but always share it. It shows your character, the peace and selflessness that reside in the canvass of your heart.

You have life figured out more than anyone I know. So why would you love someone like me?

I’m the elderly man cast off by his kids into an old people’s home with no visitors. I’m the little kid on the swing by himself, friendless. I am the bird released from his cage but can’t experience freedom because his wings have been clipped. I am the headstone at the graveyard engraved with nothing; blank, lonely, and never to belong to anyone’s memory. What the earth is without the sun is me without you.

Look at the darkness of the night, I’m absent within it, because you filled the void with light. Time spent with you is like the clearing of a tempest storm, eclipsing the darkness with beams of sunshine piercing through the clouds. It is like lava at the end of a volcanic eruption, engulfing the old and creating the new. Time spent with you cannot be measured like the past or the future, because it is in the now.

Thank you for the now.

***Thank you for taking the time to read my work. If you enjoy what you read; please share, like, and comment. All of these details help me drastically and will allow me to write more often. Thank you for your support!***

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6 thoughts on “Loving You is Living

  1. Interesting kind of love story! Am I to infer that the one writing these lines is wrong? That he should NOT build his whole life around his beloved? That his happiness should NOT depend upon another? I also believe that is true, but your words confuse me — make me think that I need to find someone to love so totally that I am subsumed by it.

    • My words are meant to make you think such things. You can be consumed by love but when it becomes unhealthy like the man in this story, you are doomed for failure. As you have taught me happiness is to come within and not placed in control of others.

  2. all things in life begin and end – this is the Way – how we choose to expose our love or appreciation is up to the individual themself – to me – at first i gasped when reading this as it is how my heart feels without my partner in crime – but primitively our strength to survive regardless of the feeling will prevail – reading the parts after that i saw an inner beauty not only for whom he has shared his love to but also an inner beauty of himself also – truly one of the most beautiful sights my eyes could read and my heart could feel and for my brain to process ❤

    • Wow! I truly appreciate your kind words! I am glad it resonated with you. If you check my “Complete Works” I have other love pieces, hopefully you will like them!

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