I see you looking at me, beer in your hand, eyes placed on mine. Your cheeks move upward, teeth show; a smile is born. It’s contagious; with my lips intact and teeth hidden I smile back. That is all I needed, I know I can approach you now, but should I?
The young, the old, the punkers, the hipsters, the geeks, the intellectuals, and the drunks are my obstacles. Although it’s a small dive, you’re at the opposite end, so close yet so far. With no space to move I would have to press through the crowd like an ant navigates across soil, rocks, and grass.
My friends were talking about their sexual conquest or lack thereof,but I began to go somewhere else, my ears muted the clatters of the bar. My absolute everything; my thoughts and senses were consumed by you. Nothing else was able to penetrate the boundaries of my mind.
Your hair is dark like the night; your smile, sunshine. Emeralds are your eyes; a bright green that is pleasing to my sight. The exterior of your body is ripe and appears to be smooth, oh how my palms and fingers long to skim across the shapes of your physical being.
Your breasts are protruding out of your blouse, not fully exposed, but detained by your bra. I would love to free them.
The black skirt you’re wearing is covering the areas that my hands would visit if you were pressed against that which I sleep on every night. You don’t know it yet but we’ve had sex. From the moment our eyes linked, I took off your clothes. I pulled the panties down, lifted your skirt up, grabbed your thighs and shifted them outwards, and finally placed myself into you.
While my mind was on a flight of imagination you were engaged in the bar life. Turning away men left and right, giggling with your girlfriends, and glancing at me constantly. You seemed to turn impatient and anxious; you wanted me to journey through the spilt beer and uncoordinated drunks to finally reach you.
I want you so badly, your physicality is seamless, I knew that much, but what about your personality? What’s it like? Both my mind and body are stimulated; I’m enthusiastic to discover you. I want to not only enter your valley but also your brain. I want to pick from it, I want to harvest your thoughts, beliefs, and ideas to better relate with you and gain more
understanding on the human condition in general.
Damn, you’re perfect, dammit I want you, but I shouldn’t. I am bad for you. You will allow yourself to get hurt; you’ll want something I cannot offer. Don’t want to take my chance, or do I? Can’t figure out what I want.
The remainder of my beer advances through the insides of my throat and stomach. I depart the empty jug and my raucous friends. I make my way through the dive bar jungle.
I will relate with her, her heart will not be malnourished; I will feed it with love. We will be two different roots that connect to the same stem; our chemistry will bloom into a flower of joy.
Societal rules will come in and hack that very flower into pieces of me and you. Eventually, your insecurities will get the best of you and exclusivity will be desired. I won’t put restraints on love, I refuse to put a dam on the flow of love, I will say no. Your eyes will moisten and your cheeks will be coated in fluid. Sobs will follow and I’ll empathize.
Only one way to find out how we will play out; she sees me coming, I am almost there. Smells of alcohol and deep fried food are behind me, five more steps till I reach her.
My shoulders bump into other shoulders, alcohol jumps out of glasses onto my shirt, and shoes step on mine. I made it; her friends chuckle and turn away, I say “hi” she responds “hi.”
It begins; she has no idea what she just got herself into.
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